Is there anyone i can talk to
Handle awkward date silences, end a conversation with a stranger — plus chat to your children, your parents and your boss.
Our panel shares their secrets. What was the hardest thing?
With younger children, visual cues and games can be a helpful way of piecing things together. Repeating back to a younger child what they have said makes them feel heard.
Using a bit of humour can help to defuse the tension, and watching films with older kids can be a good way to broach difficult subjects. Let children see you argue and make up. Most of us find the prospect of walking into a room full of strangers daunting. Remember that most people in any room feel uncomfortable.
I often borrow stories. I just mention something my friend Jim told me about his dogs. Instead, walk a quarter-length of the room away to another group or, better still, to someone standing alone.
Tips Ask people how they know the host, or how they got there, or what they think of the food just about everyone likes talking about food. Watch out for conversation-killers, especially one-upmanship.
I need someone to talk to about my problems – but where do i turn?
Borrow stories. Increasingly, people have more than one thing they want to mention at an appointment. Get the most important thing out at the beginning. If you have a pain, is it dull or sharp?
Need someone to talk to? stop feeling isolated
Does it burn or throb? If you have new symptoms, make sure you mention them. The timeline is really important: have you been getting pains for a few days, or weeks, or at certain times of day?
Photos help, especially if symptoms have changed. Do they want to be ed off work? If you are secretly worried that you have a much more serious illness, then mention it we know that everyone looks up their symptoms on the internet. Just be honest. The whole consultation is really about the connection between two individuals and, in an ideal world, it should be based on mutual respect and trust.
Be as detailed and descriptive as you can when explaining your symptoms.
One of the best ways of dealing with that is to focus on what you want. It helps to lessen the fear of rejection. Pay attention to what people talk about. If your date is sharing a lot of negative information — talking about their acrimonious divorce, say — it might be their way of expressing fear of the present dating situation.
The same goes for what you disclose. So talking about a work conundrum could be good, but discussing therapy on a first date is probably a bad idea.
But silences can offer an opportunity. See how the other person reacts.
Tips Pay attention to the negative information your date shares with you. When you hit adolescence, the drive to belong to your peer group rather than your family kicks in. Mother-and-daughter relationships, in particular, suffer a lot, with the mother pushing for information and feeling marginalised. The best way to re-establish a relationship is to give them regular updates on everyday details of your life. Parents are more likely now to be as active at work and in life, and many adults today can expect to be poorer than their parents.
As parents get older, one of the most commonly expressed emotions from their children is irritation — irritation that their conversations seem more rambling, or even confused. That irritation is a cover-up for fear. No child wants to lose the relationship they had with their parents.
It can be very therapeutic to make time for those stories, to share them with each other. Good conversations are really about good listening.
How to talk to anyone: the experts' guide
Tips Conversations with parents tend to be one-sided. Employees often feel out of the loop, particularly in times of change, but they can be passive about giving feedback to their managers. How do they like to receive information?
Does your manager have his or her own manager to think about? Keep it civil, and remember your boss might need to refer that decision to their boss, so make your business case as strong as possible.
Depression hotline s: here’s where to get help
Be clear what both your arguments and the counterarguments are. And avoid copying people in halfway through an discussion, even if you want to bolster your argument.
It can be a very passive-aggressive way of communicating. How much should you share with your boss about your life outside work? As a good rule of thumb, avoid being too candid.
How to find an online therapist for free
Tips Always question whether you should send anor say it in person. And avoid passive-aggressive copying in. Remember that your boss may not be the one making the final decision, so you might need to convince them to convince others.
Talk to me: a conversation special Family. How to talk to anyone: the experts' guide.
Interviews by Rosie Ifould. Sat 28 Nov Reuse this content.
Our new persons
Depression hotlines offer free and confidential access to qualified professionals and volunteers for those in immediate need of support.
Talking therapies can help you work out how to deal with negative thoughts and feelings and make positive changes.